Am I really part of the norm? As much as I try to be outside of the box, I feel like my individuality is nonexistant and I'm just part of the masses. Sometimes I feel like I'm in 1984 (the book not the year)
Sidenote: If your a homeless person and you carry around a board saying that your homeless and that you need food............ where do you get the money for the materials to write with? Couldn't that money be put to better use. Nothing against the homeless, just wondering
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Another Night Up Thinking
So this past Saturday certain events changed my perception on a lot of things.
Let's just say, I'm more confused than ever even though things has been made clear. I know how this certain person feels and I have nothing against it but geez this has been the weirdest situation I've ever been in. And lets just say that certain emotions don't die easily no matter how hard I work at it.
DAMNIT!!!! I swore to myself that I would never get into this situation but here I am looking almost like a fool sometimes but whatever, trust me I'm learning from my mistakes that I've made. And this surely will never happen again.
It's funny before this whole thing started, a lot of friends told me that I was too hard on relationships and that I had a bad perception of guys. So the one time I actually open myself I get burned continously. And even though we're still friends there's just a lot of ups and downs that keep me eternally confused.
But anywho I'm taking a much needed vacay to dushi Curacao for the next couple of days. Hopefully there I can clear my mind and get back the real me who didn't give a crap about stuff like this.
Sidenote: I'm really trying hard not to curse, but sh*t being from New York it's like second nature to us.
Peace
Let's just say, I'm more confused than ever even though things has been made clear. I know how this certain person feels and I have nothing against it but geez this has been the weirdest situation I've ever been in. And lets just say that certain emotions don't die easily no matter how hard I work at it.
DAMNIT!!!! I swore to myself that I would never get into this situation but here I am looking almost like a fool sometimes but whatever, trust me I'm learning from my mistakes that I've made. And this surely will never happen again.
It's funny before this whole thing started, a lot of friends told me that I was too hard on relationships and that I had a bad perception of guys. So the one time I actually open myself I get burned continously. And even though we're still friends there's just a lot of ups and downs that keep me eternally confused.
But anywho I'm taking a much needed vacay to dushi Curacao for the next couple of days. Hopefully there I can clear my mind and get back the real me who didn't give a crap about stuff like this.
Sidenote: I'm really trying hard not to curse, but sh*t being from New York it's like second nature to us.
Peace
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Insomnia
Ok so maybe it's not fully insomnia since most people are usually up around this hour anyway.
But I do have a lot on mind, starting with uncertainties that I should or should not pursue. But whatever. I just miss back in the day when life wasn't so hard. All you did was turn on 98.7 KISS fm or HOT 97 to hear you favorite joint and for that brief moment you were taken out of that complex world that we all unfortunately live in.
Whatever let me go to bed. Peace
But I do have a lot on mind, starting with uncertainties that I should or should not pursue. But whatever. I just miss back in the day when life wasn't so hard. All you did was turn on 98.7 KISS fm or HOT 97 to hear you favorite joint and for that brief moment you were taken out of that complex world that we all unfortunately live in.
Whatever let me go to bed. Peace
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Confused but Still Enlightened
So I just quit my job today, learned a lot from that job that I will carry with me for life but that job was just not for me and I didn't want to hinder mine or the company's success. So for right now just on a chill but I'll be back on the grind. I don't stay down for long.
On another note, life gives you weird signs in life. We'll see where this goes.
On another note, life gives you weird signs in life. We'll see where this goes.
Friday, February 8, 2008
The Need for Change or Maybe is it the Time for Change?
This morning when I woke up I was reading the "Autobigraphy of Malcolm X as Told to Alex Haley" and a certain passage struck me that I think is relevent to the current events of today. I've decided that I want to share with my fellow bloggers and readers. And even though I might not completely agree with Malcolm X's teachings some of the things that he has said were profound. Let me show what I'm talking about.
Excerpt from pgs. 320-322:
"The black man in North America was economically sick and that was evidentin one simple fact: as a consumer, he got less than his share, as a producer gave least. The black American today shows us the perfect parasite image--the black tick under the delusion that he is progressing because he rides on the udder of the fat, three-stomach cow that is white America. For instance, annually, the black man spends over $3 billion for automobiles, but America contains hardly any franchised black automobile dealers. For instance, forty per cent of the exspensive imported Scotch whisky consumed in America goes down the throats of the status-sick black man; but the only black-owned distilleries are in the bathtubs, or in the woods somewhere. Or for instance--a scandalous shame--in New York City, with over a million Negroes, there aren't twenty black-owned businesses employing over ten people. It's because black men don't own and control their own community's retail establishments that they can't stabalize their own community.
The black man in North America was sickest of all politically. He let the white man divide him into such foolishness as considering himself a black "Democrat," a black "Republican," a black "Conservative," or a black "Liberal" ... when ten-million black vote bloc could be the deciding balance of power in American politics, because the white man's vote is almost always evenly divided. The polls are one place where every black could fight the black man's cause with dignity, and with the power and the tools that the white man understands, and respects, and fears, and cooperates with. Listen, let me tell you something! If a black bloc committee told Washington's worst "nigger-hater," "We Represent ten million votes," why, that "nigger-hater" would leap up: "Well how are you? Come on in here!" Why, if the Missississippi black man voted in a bloc, Eastland would pretend to be more liberal than Jacob Javits--or Eastland would not survive in his office. Why else is that racist politicians fight to keep the black men from the polls?
Whenever any group can vote in a bloc, and decide the outcome of the elections, and it fails to do this, then that group is politcally sick. Immigrants once made Tammany Hall the most powerful single force in American politics. In 1880, New York City's first Irish Catholic Mayor was elected and by 1960 America had its first Irish Catholic President. America's black man, voting as a bloc, could wield an even more powerful force.
U.S. politics is ruled by special-interest blocs and lobbies. What group has a moreurgent special interest, what group needs a bloc,a lobby, more than the black man? Labor owns one of Washington's largest non-government buildings--situated where they can literally watch the White House--and no political move is made that doesn't invovle how Labor feels about it. A lobby got Big Oil its depletion allowance. The farmer, through his lobby, is the most government-subsidized special-interest group in America today, because a million farmers vote, not as Democrats, or Republicans, liberals, conservatives, but as farmers.
Doctors have the best lobby in Washington. Their special-interest influence successfully fights the Medicare program that's wanted, and needed, by millions of other people. Why, there's a Beet Growers' Lobby! a Wheat Lobby! A Cattle Lobby! A China Lobby! Little countries no ever heard of have their Washington lobbies, representing their special interests.
The government has departments to deal with the special-interest groups that make themselves heard and felt. A Department of Agriculture cares for the farmers' needs. There is a Department of the Interior--in which the Indians are included. Is the farmer, the doctor, the Indian, the greatest problem in America today? No--it is the black man! Ther ought to be a Pentagon-sized Washington department dealing with every segment of the black man's problems.
Twenty-two million black men! they have given America four hundred years of toil; they have bled and died in every battle since the Revolution; they were in America before the Pilgrims, and long before the mass immigrations--and they are still today at the bottom of everything!
Why, twenty-two million black people should tomorrow give a dollar a piece to build a skyscraper lobby building in Washington, D.C. Every morning, every legislator should receive a communication about what the black man in America expects and wants and needs. The demanding voice of the black lobby should be in the ears of every legislator who votes on any issue.
The cornerstones of this country's operation are economic and political strength and power. The black man doesn't have the economic strength--and it will take time for him to build it. But right now the American black man has more political strength and power to change his destiny overnight."
-Copyright © 1964 by Alex Haley and Malcolm X
Even though this was written in 1964 I believe this still applies today. Not only does it apply to today but if you put in any ethnicity that can vote in this country in places where he says the black man, it applies to them as well. To me it was interesting that a lot of what he was saying back then is happening now forty-four years later. How many black people we know who are soley interested in just having the nicest car and bling. I'm sure that the $3 billion dollars that was put into the car industry by the black man in the '60s has nearly tripled within the last couple of years. And yet black Americans as a whole are still the poorest people in this country. If black Americans could actually build businesses where there are more than ten employees and support it, black Americans would be better off. Look at Jews for instance. Most own their own businesses and they all support each other. This is why they are one of the richest people in America maybe the richest people in America. And as for his political comments, he is right on the money about black people and minority people as a whole voting. Can you imagine if every one of us voted what sort of power we could have? what type of people we can put in? Somenone who is there for the minorty vote, who cares about what we want not what serves their personal interest best. I also liked the fact that he said that blakc Americans tend to forget that their are more than Democrats and Republicans. I think that this comment applies to Americans as a whole. My response to this is people should vote for who they think represents them the best not because they are Republican or Democrat. Remember we also a hundreds of other parties that run in the presidential elections as well.
I leave you with this: don't vote for someone because they are black or they are a woman or don't not vote for them because of these reasons. Because if you do, you are not voting logically but rather on impulse because everyone else might be doing it.
Sidenote: I need to make some life changes starting with my job, maybe I might do Teach for America.
Anyways, peace
(please comment on this note, I think it's very important, you can be anonymous)
Excerpt from pgs. 320-322:
"The black man in North America was economically sick and that was evidentin one simple fact: as a consumer, he got less than his share, as a producer gave least. The black American today shows us the perfect parasite image--the black tick under the delusion that he is progressing because he rides on the udder of the fat, three-stomach cow that is white America. For instance, annually, the black man spends over $3 billion for automobiles, but America contains hardly any franchised black automobile dealers. For instance, forty per cent of the exspensive imported Scotch whisky consumed in America goes down the throats of the status-sick black man; but the only black-owned distilleries are in the bathtubs, or in the woods somewhere. Or for instance--a scandalous shame--in New York City, with over a million Negroes, there aren't twenty black-owned businesses employing over ten people. It's because black men don't own and control their own community's retail establishments that they can't stabalize their own community.
The black man in North America was sickest of all politically. He let the white man divide him into such foolishness as considering himself a black "Democrat," a black "Republican," a black "Conservative," or a black "Liberal" ... when ten-million black vote bloc could be the deciding balance of power in American politics, because the white man's vote is almost always evenly divided. The polls are one place where every black could fight the black man's cause with dignity, and with the power and the tools that the white man understands, and respects, and fears, and cooperates with. Listen, let me tell you something! If a black bloc committee told Washington's worst "nigger-hater," "We Represent ten million votes," why, that "nigger-hater" would leap up: "Well how are you? Come on in here!" Why, if the Missississippi black man voted in a bloc, Eastland would pretend to be more liberal than Jacob Javits--or Eastland would not survive in his office. Why else is that racist politicians fight to keep the black men from the polls?
Whenever any group can vote in a bloc, and decide the outcome of the elections, and it fails to do this, then that group is politcally sick. Immigrants once made Tammany Hall the most powerful single force in American politics. In 1880, New York City's first Irish Catholic Mayor was elected and by 1960 America had its first Irish Catholic President. America's black man, voting as a bloc, could wield an even more powerful force.
U.S. politics is ruled by special-interest blocs and lobbies. What group has a moreurgent special interest, what group needs a bloc,a lobby, more than the black man? Labor owns one of Washington's largest non-government buildings--situated where they can literally watch the White House--and no political move is made that doesn't invovle how Labor feels about it. A lobby got Big Oil its depletion allowance. The farmer, through his lobby, is the most government-subsidized special-interest group in America today, because a million farmers vote, not as Democrats, or Republicans, liberals, conservatives, but as farmers.
Doctors have the best lobby in Washington. Their special-interest influence successfully fights the Medicare program that's wanted, and needed, by millions of other people. Why, there's a Beet Growers' Lobby! a Wheat Lobby! A Cattle Lobby! A China Lobby! Little countries no ever heard of have their Washington lobbies, representing their special interests.
The government has departments to deal with the special-interest groups that make themselves heard and felt. A Department of Agriculture cares for the farmers' needs. There is a Department of the Interior--in which the Indians are included. Is the farmer, the doctor, the Indian, the greatest problem in America today? No--it is the black man! Ther ought to be a Pentagon-sized Washington department dealing with every segment of the black man's problems.
Twenty-two million black men! they have given America four hundred years of toil; they have bled and died in every battle since the Revolution; they were in America before the Pilgrims, and long before the mass immigrations--and they are still today at the bottom of everything!
Why, twenty-two million black people should tomorrow give a dollar a piece to build a skyscraper lobby building in Washington, D.C. Every morning, every legislator should receive a communication about what the black man in America expects and wants and needs. The demanding voice of the black lobby should be in the ears of every legislator who votes on any issue.
The cornerstones of this country's operation are economic and political strength and power. The black man doesn't have the economic strength--and it will take time for him to build it. But right now the American black man has more political strength and power to change his destiny overnight."
-Copyright © 1964 by Alex Haley and Malcolm X
Even though this was written in 1964 I believe this still applies today. Not only does it apply to today but if you put in any ethnicity that can vote in this country in places where he says the black man, it applies to them as well. To me it was interesting that a lot of what he was saying back then is happening now forty-four years later. How many black people we know who are soley interested in just having the nicest car and bling. I'm sure that the $3 billion dollars that was put into the car industry by the black man in the '60s has nearly tripled within the last couple of years. And yet black Americans as a whole are still the poorest people in this country. If black Americans could actually build businesses where there are more than ten employees and support it, black Americans would be better off. Look at Jews for instance. Most own their own businesses and they all support each other. This is why they are one of the richest people in America maybe the richest people in America. And as for his political comments, he is right on the money about black people and minority people as a whole voting. Can you imagine if every one of us voted what sort of power we could have? what type of people we can put in? Somenone who is there for the minorty vote, who cares about what we want not what serves their personal interest best. I also liked the fact that he said that blakc Americans tend to forget that their are more than Democrats and Republicans. I think that this comment applies to Americans as a whole. My response to this is people should vote for who they think represents them the best not because they are Republican or Democrat. Remember we also a hundreds of other parties that run in the presidential elections as well.
I leave you with this: don't vote for someone because they are black or they are a woman or don't not vote for them because of these reasons. Because if you do, you are not voting logically but rather on impulse because everyone else might be doing it.
Sidenote: I need to make some life changes starting with my job, maybe I might do Teach for America.
Anyways, peace
(please comment on this note, I think it's very important, you can be anonymous)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
I Graduated Now What
So two months after I graduated I figured that I would be a little well off at least with a steady job. Two months after I graduated college I'm working for this company that pays totally off comission. I really wouldn't mind it but the fact that i work 12 hours a day and depending on how much I sell I can make more or less at a job sitting behind a desk. At first I was determined to do it so I hauled ass but today I was more determined than all the days combine and I worked harder than any other day and I made less and way below average than usual. This sucks. What was the point of graduating college if I can't a decent job that pays pretty well. People who don't graduate high school and earn a GED can get a better job. Those people get assistant managers at a place like McDonald's and things like that. And then the people with the Masters and Doctorates get these great jobs making over a hundred thousand dollars. But to get into grad school you have to get amazing grades and be some ultra student in college which if anyone can relate that is harder than shit to do.
Anyway I was a watching a Disney commercial about this fairy helping this little fish swim upstream (don't ask me why I was watching Disney). She puts the fish in a bubble and lifts it out of the water to help it go upstream and all I kept thinking was that little kids were watching this and relating to the little fish thinking maybe there would be a fairy that would help them overcome there problems. All I kept thinking was that these kids are going to grow up thinking that life will be fine just as long as there is a little fairy there. Whatever
Hopefully things get better or else I might have to move back which I really don't want to do right now. Oh well
Anyway I was a watching a Disney commercial about this fairy helping this little fish swim upstream (don't ask me why I was watching Disney). She puts the fish in a bubble and lifts it out of the water to help it go upstream and all I kept thinking was that little kids were watching this and relating to the little fish thinking maybe there would be a fairy that would help them overcome there problems. All I kept thinking was that these kids are going to grow up thinking that life will be fine just as long as there is a little fairy there. Whatever
Hopefully things get better or else I might have to move back which I really don't want to do right now. Oh well
Monday, February 4, 2008
Eli: The Most Loved Man in NYC
GIANTS WON GIANTS WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you haven't heard by now that Giants won the Super Bowl then you're definitely living under a rock. It's so interesting to me how they are calling this one of the biggest upsets in NFL history. I mean yes the Patriots when undefeated up until now and they were supposed to seal that deal but the Giants wanted it more. Matter fact they need it more. Everybody thought that Giants would not be able to handle the Patriots because they are such a winning franchise. And for the past three times that they went to the Super Bowl they played against better teams than the Giants and they managed to kick their ass while doing it.
You want to know why the Giants won. The reason is they had more heart for it. They knew that if they won they would be a part of history and they made it happen. With my boys David Tyree, Amani Toomer, Michael Strahan, Justin Tuck, Ahmad Bradshaw, Osi Umenyiora, Jay Alford and Plaxico Burress contributing for the win we were difinitely going to win. Tyree was a beast out there by catching 32 yard passes and touch down passes through all thes guys. He really made it seam easy out there. Michael, Osi and the rest of the defensive killed it with sacks. For a moment life just seemed to get better everytime Peyton got sacked. And my boy Jay with the last sack of the game. To be a rookie straight out of Penn State and to play in the Super Bowl, this kid is definitely part of the the dynasty.
I do have to give it up to Tom Brady and especially Randy Moss for killingit out on the field. Moss did have me scared for a minute that we might lose.
And last but not least my boy Eli. Everybody said that Eli Manning wasn't Super Bowl material and that he wouldn't be able to take the Giants all the way. And by having a brother like Peyton made it worse. But my Eli proved them wrong. Not only was he able to murder them out there but his biggest supporter was his brother. Peyton was rooting for him throughout the whole game and there's nothing better than brotherly love.
Now because this is a NYC team, NYC is going crazy right now. I doubt that people might make it to work tomorrow. If you thought that we were cocky before then you'll definitely hate us now because we are not letting this go. We'll gloat until it gets old then we'll continue to gloat.
"And I'm not cocky I'm confident"- Jadakiss/Ja Rule/Fat Joe- New York
oh and by the way all of next week I'll be playing New York songs..... GO GIANTS!!!!!!
If you haven't heard by now that Giants won the Super Bowl then you're definitely living under a rock. It's so interesting to me how they are calling this one of the biggest upsets in NFL history. I mean yes the Patriots when undefeated up until now and they were supposed to seal that deal but the Giants wanted it more. Matter fact they need it more. Everybody thought that Giants would not be able to handle the Patriots because they are such a winning franchise. And for the past three times that they went to the Super Bowl they played against better teams than the Giants and they managed to kick their ass while doing it.
You want to know why the Giants won. The reason is they had more heart for it. They knew that if they won they would be a part of history and they made it happen. With my boys David Tyree, Amani Toomer, Michael Strahan, Justin Tuck, Ahmad Bradshaw, Osi Umenyiora, Jay Alford and Plaxico Burress contributing for the win we were difinitely going to win. Tyree was a beast out there by catching 32 yard passes and touch down passes through all thes guys. He really made it seam easy out there. Michael, Osi and the rest of the defensive killed it with sacks. For a moment life just seemed to get better everytime Peyton got sacked. And my boy Jay with the last sack of the game. To be a rookie straight out of Penn State and to play in the Super Bowl, this kid is definitely part of the the dynasty.
I do have to give it up to Tom Brady and especially Randy Moss for killingit out on the field. Moss did have me scared for a minute that we might lose.
And last but not least my boy Eli. Everybody said that Eli Manning wasn't Super Bowl material and that he wouldn't be able to take the Giants all the way. And by having a brother like Peyton made it worse. But my Eli proved them wrong. Not only was he able to murder them out there but his biggest supporter was his brother. Peyton was rooting for him throughout the whole game and there's nothing better than brotherly love.
Now because this is a NYC team, NYC is going crazy right now. I doubt that people might make it to work tomorrow. If you thought that we were cocky before then you'll definitely hate us now because we are not letting this go. We'll gloat until it gets old then we'll continue to gloat.
"And I'm not cocky I'm confident"- Jadakiss/Ja Rule/Fat Joe- New York
oh and by the way all of next week I'll be playing New York songs..... GO GIANTS!!!!!!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Blogging
This is my first blog so bear with me. I recently moved to Orlando, originally from Queens. A lot of diffferent thoughts have been racing through my mind about being in a place that's so different from where I'm from. It's a lot more slower paced but it has some remnants of New York in it that I like. But whatever a change of pace.
So my beloved NY Giants are in the Super Bowl today and I believe they can go all the way just as long as Eli is on his game. Which he better be on his game or NY will definitely kick his ass.
By the way I was watching a Spurs game the other night and I realized that Tim Duncan is the shit. He's not fancy or anything but he can win games based on fundamentals alone which I think is the truth. Basketball has become too much of show anyway.
Anyway in a couple of hours the Giants will be at the Super Bowl. All I got to say is GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my beloved NY Giants are in the Super Bowl today and I believe they can go all the way just as long as Eli is on his game. Which he better be on his game or NY will definitely kick his ass.
By the way I was watching a Spurs game the other night and I realized that Tim Duncan is the shit. He's not fancy or anything but he can win games based on fundamentals alone which I think is the truth. Basketball has become too much of show anyway.
Anyway in a couple of hours the Giants will be at the Super Bowl. All I got to say is GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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